car accident

soo, i got into a car accident last night. vanessa, jason, and noebie were in the car too. we're all fine.

this week has already been nothing but problems for me, and this situation last night was just the icing to an overall bad month. im pissed off at myself... im pissed off at the cars that were in front of me... im pissed off about my car... im just really pissed off about everything. i have been in tears ever since i got home. of course, i had to tell my parents about what happened because they needed to know, and i needed help. at this point, i am just sooo overwhelmed like... i feel so bad for my parents, which makes me feel angry at myself for putting them in this situation. im worried about the car and how much it's gonna cost, what the insurance will do, how the insurance issues between the three cars will come out, how soon i will get back the car, how i will get to work... plus there are just soo many unsaid issues right now that i am dealing with at home and that my parents are dealing with.

it was obvious to me that my mom wanted to cry. they have every right to blame me and make me feel bad for what happened. i don't think that i have felt this way before or have ever reached such a low point. i can't help but feel that i have hurt them and disappointed them soo much. my dad got home earlier and tried to talk to me and i could do nothing. i could sense and hear the desperation coming out of his voice, and i couldn't look at him anymore... i can't look at my mom or my dad in the eyes anymore because i feel like a failure to them.

im just trying as hard as i can to hold my head up high, but honestly i am deeply depressed at this point. it has been a culminating moment. i just feel sooo. fucking. bad. and i can't take it anymore.