soo now what

you know when one of your close friends is hella depressed and you see it and you try to help but they are either unresponsive to your offer of assistance or unwilling to open up and so you end up stuck not knowing what to do?

yeea that's where i am right now.

its complicated.

EH.

soo thats exactly how i feel... because i don't know exactly how i feel. hella fail riight? well i guess lemme try to explain. soo i started to feel jealous about something. but now im not sure why i started feeling jealous in the first place. well actually, i partly know one of the reasons why im getting jealous and it's because someone's tryna third wheel off our bestfriendship. and i get super annoyed when it's just us two, and then he's there. like umm... hello a&b only, not c.

but then there's a second part that kinda scares me and even caught me off guard. im afraid of thinking about it because i really REEEAALLY don't think i wanna go beyond the friendship line. i can't figure out when this part of the reason start to manifest itself and that's why even i surprised myself about it. i don't wanna lose this person over sum bullshit.

gaaahd, talk about complicated.

come back

last night was pretty interesting. the original plan for saturday night was to have a kickback at matt's house. but we ended up just going to lime in sf. mostly cuz matt wanted to go cuz of some guy. LOL, typical. we just prefaded in the car cuz i had no money to be buyin dranks in there. or i guess we promised ourselves not to buy any drinks. matt broke that promise. cuz of a guy. hahahaa. we saw hella folks there tho. i saw jason and noiebe... i feel like i haven't seen those two in forever. jason was hella drunk tho. and aww im missed haha. definitely gotta do major catch ups during spring break. ron kept on doing the aphio handshake wit me. lol i thought that was random cuz he always does that with me. ohh, and my eyecandy wasn't there =(

after lime, we passed guy this house party in union city. sad part is it was pretty much over by the time we got there. no surprise considering it was close to 2am. right when we were about to leave the house, i guess one of the guys was asking if me and matt were together LOL. i just gave this look and was like "uh, no." hahahaa, omgg matt was stupid drunk by then tho.

earlier today, there was a little kick it with marcos and us three new members of the wisdom family in akomega. we just talked about stuff, what's expected, what to look out for, share stories, whatever. i guess all i can say is that im definitely excited for the next quarters to come. im hella ready tho!