Monday, June 1, 2009

being a martyr vs. being stupid

MARTYR - someone who suffers or makes great sacrifices for the sake of a principle; someone who suffers silently for a long time; etc.

am i being a MARTYR because despite the fact that i know i get hurt whenever he tells me things about other guys, i am still there for him for the sake of this bestfriendship? even if we both know that nothing can ever happen and every time i see him kissin or cupcakin and shit with some other guy, i can't help but feel like sucha loser. but i suck it up & put on my poker face, tryna hide the fact that my heart feels like it's going through a paper shredder, or that my head is running a million miles a minute with different thoughts. i say to myself "it's coo, i can take this..." but honestly im practically dying inside.

STUPIDITY - a wrong action attributable to bad judgment or ignorance; being rash or foolish.

albert einstein was quoted that "the definition of stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results." am i being STUPID because i keep on putting myself in these kinds of situations repeatedly knowing that i will get hurt, and hoping in vain that maybe someday the result im expecting will happen? if i know that being around him and seeing him act the way he does around other guys hurts me, why am i stupid enough to still be there. am i choosing to ignore certain facts. am i letting my feelings for this guy make me act so dumb that i am ignoring what is the best thing i can do for my own sake...

which one am i...

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